Don’t judge if you don’t want to be judged

Last year, I was judged by someone who I used to be very close with. I am no stranger to pain, judgement or criticism. But, boy, that hurt. Yeah, she was correct about many of her complaints. The thing is I’m human, so I’m bound to have flaws. I don’t think an unflawed human being has ever been born. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t aim or try to improve but I expect that if you are my friend, you have to accept me, flaws and all.

It wasn’t easy. The journey towards this conclusion. I did grow resentful towards her and towards myself and there was a big part of me that criticized every action of mine, relentlessly.

But am I any different?

Over the years, I’ve judged people too. Is he/ she fluent in English? Does he/ she like reading?

Now I realize that I was so damn stupid. I mean, English? I live in India! Hindi is the national language here. Not English. And does it even matter as long as the person is kindred soul? (Anne of green gables reference).

Reading? So I’m limiting myself to people who have similar interests. Wow, it’ll surely help me grow.

So now I feel bad. I’m so disappointed in myself. Here I was puffing myself with righteousness whereas in reality, I’m no better.

How could I fail to see the awesome in people?

I say I’m pretty awesome. But why is that? Because I’m a human and every human being has some awesome in him or her. Some people like John and Hank Green have a lot of awesome in them while some people like Voldemort or Hitler don’t have a lot. Or they waste away their share of awesome.  

Last year, I had judged a girl I barely knew on the basis of what I had heard about her from the person I knew her through. Nothing bad, but nothing interesting either. Once, after falling out with our common link, I randomly sent that girl a message on Goodreads. Did she turn out to be absolutely, mind-numbingly boring? No. In fact, she’s got so much of awesome in her (Mexican Vampires, if you’re reading my blog Piyu 😛 )  Piyu now happens to be a really good friend, you could even say that she’s one of my besties.

The alternate reality of never having sent that Goodreads message terrifies me.

So what about all the others I have judged without actually getting to know them?

I’m really sorry for judging you. Remember, that you’re awesome and stay awesome.

Now, I’m beginning anew with a vow to avoid judging people. I don’t know what place they come from so I don’t have the tiniest bit of a right to judge them.


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Ashwin Writes

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Paperless Postcards

Paperless Postcards is the country’s first platform for non-fiction conversations. The website triggers various emotions in their open letters & other verticals


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