It comes down to my She-devil

Hey there! How are you?

I thought I would love talking about myself and to some extent I do but currently, I don’t even know what’s happening in my life. No, I’m not constantly drunk or something. It’s just that I hardly get any time!

To be frank, that shouldn’t happen. I have just four hours college which,  believe me, is hardly anything. Some of my friends attend 9 hours of lectures and still get time to do something. One of my friends, Tash, does charity, practises for her Arangetrum (which is a performance a Bharatnatyam dancer is supposed to do once she has sufficiently mastered the dance form), writes for her college magazine, and attends guest lectures and documentary screenings all after attending college from 8 am to 2pm.

My daily schedule is something like this –

6.45 am – Mom tries to wake me up.
7.00 am – I actually open my eyes.
7.15 am – I jump out of the bed and rush to the bathroom because I’m late.
8.15 am- Leave for college.
10.00 am – Reach college.
10.30 am to 2.30 pm – Attend lectures.
2.30 pm to 4.00 pm – Travel.
4.00 pm – Eat a snack and check messages.
4.30 pm – Watch some TV. Mostly Game of Thrones.
6.30 pm -???
7.15 pm – Mom comes home so we chat for a while.
7.45 pm to 9.00 pm -???
9.00 pm to 9.30 pm – Dinner.
9.30 pm to 10.00 pm -???
10.00 pm to 11.00 pm – TV again. Oh you wile tempting creature!
11.00 pm to 12.30 am -???
12.30 am to 7.00 am – Sleep.

What the hell do I end up doing throughout the day?

Yeah, I do watch a lot of TV but it’s only for 3 hours which leaves me with 21 hours to do stuff. Stuff that can be termed as productive like studying, writing, practicing French, practicing guitar, blogging, etc.

I do nothing.

Actually I can write good fiction post midnight. During the day, the sun sucks up all my creative juices. Or maybe creativity is an effect of sleepiness.

My point is, I should write more.

The other thing I should do is study. Actually, I have a test tomorrow so I should be studying currently. But I’m not. I feel like writing a story instead. Now is not the time for writing stories because it’s midnight and story writing is a time consuming process. Plus, I have college tomorrow and a test which I should be studying for. Damn!

And the Queen of Procrastination strikes again!

It’s midnight and now I’m a little sleepy. Finally! But trust me when I say, if I go to bed now I’ll end up listening to music.

Staying awake and then catching up on my sleep tomorrow afternoon is not an option either. Utsu, a college friend, has fallen sick. She’s got malaria and she’s got Ganapati at her place. So I might go over to her place tomorrow. No time to visit my dreamworld tomorrow afternoon.

I’m worried about her and another sick friend of mine. Malaria is shit. So is a viral infection.

The other thing I’m worried about is the Gaza conflict. Seriously. Sam once asked me what do I care about. I told her world peace. She didn’t believe me. Maybe I don’t care about it as much as say, the people in UN but if I see a shooting star right now (very difficult. It’s been pouring all day.), I’ll definitely wish for a long term peace treaty between the Israelis and the Hamas.

I live in India. India is far away. I could just ignore the entire issue, something which I’m ashamed to say, I’m doing. But I don’t want people to die. How can anything justify death? What righteous cause? What issue?

Somethings are worth dying for. I get that. I remember watching a movie with my dad. I don’t remember the name but it had Keanu Reeves as an undercover police officer and Patrick Swayze as the leader of a gang who organized bank heists. They used the stolen money for surfing equipment. They were so freaking passionate about surfing! When the gang leader is finally caught, he’s with a surf board on a beach (Bondi, I think). He is waiting for some super huge waves to surf on. Instead of getting arrested, he chooses to surf the dangerous wave. That wave proves to be his last.

So surfing on a phenomenally gigantic wave was worth dying for, for Bodhi. That is the kind of passion I’m looking for. I love writing but on most days, I think I suck. Nor will you find me writing every waking moment. People actually do that!

I think, it’s just that I’m lazy.

I used to write continuously when I was actively working on Chocolate. Maybe I should start working on it again. Strike maybe. I definitely should work on it again. It’s better than spending my time staring at the walls.

The idle mind is a devil’s workshop and my she-devil is already a stupid, hormonal cry baby.

Anyhooo,  I’m off to the land of sleep. Good night y’all!

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