Things you should do with my books

I love recommending books to people. Recommending goes hand in hand with lending books.

When I let my friends borrow books, I get the feeling that my book is fulfilling its greater destiny.

But lending a book to someone comes with its fair share of risks.

How do you know that your copy of Pride and Prejudice is actually going to find its way home?

How do you know that by the time that friend returns your Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone, it’s still going to be a book and not a jumbled heap of pages?

How can you trust someone to not write a random phone number (or anything for that matter) on your book?

My English Literature Prof, Dhruti (who is awesome by the way) is super paranoid about her books. I totally understand her. I have to confess that there are times when my unwarranted concern for my books keeps me awake at night.

You see, I am Gollum and every book I own is my Precioussssss.

So, in order to procure some semblance of a peaceful state of mind, I made a list.

Cue drumroll.

Things you should do with my books-

One

The first thing I want you do when I lent you one of my books, is to actually read the damn book!

Seriously. There is nothing more irritating than waiting for someone to actually begin reading the book so that it can come back home.

In case you can’t get into the book,you don’t enjoy it, just return it. Borrow something else. But at least make an attempt to read my book! I’m allowing you to take my baby dragon precious  away from me, so yeah, I expect you to read it.

Read!

Read it!

 

Read!

Read it!

 

Read!

READ IT!

 

Two

So did you finally finish reading it? Awesome! Let’s discuss the book over a cup of coffee.

Also, bring the book to this coffee date. You’ve read it and now it’s time to return it. Remember that you’ve only borrowed the book. No matter how much you love it, you have to give it back.

Or I swear to God, I’ll go Gollum on your ass.

 

 

Give back my preciousss

Give back my preciousss

 

 

Three

Do not damage the book.

This one should be a given, right? I mean, when one borrows something-it could be anything, it is one’s responsibility that the object in question is returned to the owner as it was.

People just don’t get it. They say it’s just a book. What does it matter if a page her and there is torn?

IT MATTERS TO ME! IT’S MY BABY DRAGON PRECIOUS.

You just don’t damage my precious and get away with it.

 

giphy (1)

 

Four

Okay so you borrowed my book, read it and enjoyed it. We even discussed it over chat. There was some heavy fangirling going on. Cool.

Unfortunately, we won’t be able to meet up for a couple of months so you can’t return it to me just yet. Cool.

Then keep my baby dragon precious and treat him or her like the queen of books. No tea parties though.

Do not lend it to a third person, be it a common friend or my (nonexistent boyfriend). At least not without asking me.

 

giphy

 

Five

The thing that you are reading, it’s my baby dragon precious. It is not, I repeat, it is not a note pad where you can jot down telephone numbers or addresses or details of your rendezvous with someone.

 

no you don't

 

The only permissible written matter on my baby dragon precious is my name so that it does not get mixed up in anyone else’s books.

That’s it.

 

Did I sound like a neurotic control-freak? Well, I guess I am one when it comes to my books.

Do you feel the same way about your books? What else is a strict no-no while dealing with borrowed books?

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. leannaatc
    Mar 12, 2015 @ 15:37:46

    “I’ll go gollum on your ass.”

    Loved this post! Everything is so true!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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