A Day of Birthdays

Today is the holy day of my people. Well, it would be if Harry Potter were a religion.

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Happiest Birthday to Mr Harry Potter!

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Happiest Birthday to Mr Neville Longbottom!

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Happiest Birthday to their creator, the Queen J.K. Rowling!

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Thank you for teaching me to pout :*

Happiest Birthday to my friend, Jyoti!

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Happiest Blog Birthday to RavenclawSam!

Huzzah all the birthday people! I love you!

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Mumbai Rains

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That's the view from my window. Shabby, isn't it? I so hate the process of construction.

What is up with Mumbai rains?

Either they don’t rain at all.

Or they pour in a demented fashion.

Horror is so not my scene

Last Sunday was weird.

Eleanor Roosevelt has said, “Do one thing everyday that scares you.”

I literally did that.

Let’s start at the beginning.

For a girl who loves skulls and Dexter’s breakfast routine, I had not, until this very day, seen any horror movies. Well, not any proper ones. By that I mean, so far in my almost 19 years of life, I have seen only Bollywood horror movies and not hardcore movies like Insidious or The Conjuring. It’s just not my scene.

Also, Bollywood can’t do horror. The movies are so not scary that they end up being comical. So I don’t count them.

On Sunday, my cousin and my work colleagues who are also my friends dragged me to a horror movie.

Which one you ask.

Yep, Insidious: Chapter 3.

Watching the movie wasn’t so bad. I mean, yeah, it was a bit scary but most of it was due the manipulation of light and sound. I realized that the sole reason why horror movies are scary is because of the sound effects. Before any of the super scary scenes, the background score would go silent. The scenes would be dark. The air would be full of apprehension and wait. And then, suddenly, the ghost/the entity who was around to scare the protagonist and the viewers would pop out nowhere making a tremendous noise. Meanwhile, all the movie-watchers would jump out of their seats.

That’s the secret, folks!

I thought I had it all figured out. Then came the night (in about 5 hours).

My cousin and I had a sleepover of sorts. We slept in the living room. we had planned on talking but we fell asleep. I forgot to switch off the lights. At 2.30 am, my grandfather woke me up and asked me to switch off the lights. I did that. But then, my cousin’s breaths became the breathing noises of the entity from the movie. Every shadow became threatening. I literally couldn’t sleep due to fear.

For two freaking nights.

The next day at work, someone said that if the evil entity hasn’t attacked so far, it probably won’t.

I started sleeping again.

***

Another thing I noticed about Insidious: Chapter 3 was the similarity with a Doctor who episode “the Empty Child”.

Placeholder_personempty child

Gas-masks and creepy? Co-incidence much?

Or maybe I see Doctor Who references everywhere…

…and hear TARDIS sounds everywhere.

My point is, horror is so not my scene. But I saw a horror movie and survived it. I feel so proud of myself.

Do you like horror? Did you watch Insidious: Chapter 3? What did you think of the movie?

Extraordinary

They told me I was ordinary.
They pointed out my limitations.
They laughed when I said-
I will conquer the world.
They jeered when I declared-
I am more than a mere girl.
Then they began stamping out
My originality,
My fire,
My every impulse.
I conformed.
I conformed until
I saw the view
over their shoulders.
Then I exploded.
       -Mia

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Gossamer

Mariana had been dreading her 21st birthday ball ever since it had been announced. She would be forced to be polite to all of the Dukes and Lords of her father’s court, who would then leer and paw at her under the pretence of wishing her. She just wished that people would ask before touching her.
She barely said a word when she was shoved into a too tight dress for the occasion and let her maids pull at her hair until it was in an acceptable state. After dismissing them, Mariana stared at herself in the mirror.
“I look terribly thin. If I eat a grape, will my corset pop?”
Giggling at the very un-ladylike joke, she left her room mentally preparing herself for the next few hours. Let the torture begin.

“Darling, who is that exquisite creature walking down the stairs?”
Edith sighed at her mistress. It was one thing to be indifferent about politics, but to not know the Crown Princess of the Kingdom was just insulting.
“Your Grace that is Her Royal Highness, Princess Mariana; whose birthday party you are currently attending.”
Katherine raised one delicate eyebrow at her lady’s maid, who apologised immediately for the sarcasm. Turning away, she narrowed her eyes at the Princess. Katherine was attracted to her immediately, she was absolutely gorgeous.
There had never been an instance where a man had interested her. She was different, she knew and so did her parents. Fortunately, they loved her enough not to force her into anything. But society gossiped and she was known as the Lockwood’s 24 year-old spinster.
Princess Mariana was tall for her age and carried herself with a silent grace. Her gossamer gown fit her perfectly up until her waist and then it flowed. She was smiling demurely as she tucked in a strand of hair back into her bun. Mariana was beautiful and looked every bit of the princess she was.
“I am going to go meet the Princess.”
Edith stared in horror. “But, Your Grace, you cannot. That is not how it is supposed to be. Her Highness is meant to meet all the important guests first.”
“Are you implying that I am not important enough?” asked Katherine coldly. “You are dismissed for the night Edith. Have a lovely one.”
She left without a second glance towards her maid. Infuriating meddler she might be, but she was efficient. Katherine wouldn’t replace her. Not yet, at least.
Walking across the ballroom purposefully with her head held high, Katherine drew a lot of curious looks. It was not every day that the daughter of Duke Lockwood actively participated in something. When she reached the Princess, she dropped into a curtsey.
“Your Royal Highness, it is a pleasure to meet you.”
Mariana took one look at the stately brunette with bright green eyes and flung herself at her. Surprised that the lady hadn’t pushed her off immediately, she tightened her grip on her neck.
“Please play along,” Mariana whispered. “I need to get away from these old coots.”
Katherine let out a laugh and pulled away. “I did not know you would be so happy to see me, Princess.”
Mariana quickly curtsied to the people that were surrounding her.
“I apologise my Lords and Ladies, but I have not had the chance to meet my friend in a long time. If you would excuse us, we will take our leave.”
The Princess smiled at the confused guests and led her ‘friend’ away. She smiled at everyone they passed, much to Katherine’s amusement.
“Where exactly are you taking me, Princess? Do you know how terrible it is for your reputation to be seen with me?”
Mariana didn’t answer and led her to an empty balcony. Once there she dropped Katherine’s wrist and curtsied.
“Forgive me for causing inconvenience. I had to get out of there before my corset or my temper snapped.”
The Princess startled as Katherine burst out laughing. “Is something funny?”
“My dear Princess, forgive me but I find the most inappropriate things hilarious,” Katherine smirked. “My name is Katherine, since you did not ask I thought I would tell you myself.”
Mariana blushed and offered her hand. “You may call me Mariana.”
Katherine raised the hand to her mouth and looked at the Princess.
“May I?” she asked and kissed the back of the hand when she was given permission. The Princess blushed and hastily took her hand back.
“I think we should head back inside. It was lovely meeting you; I hope to see you again.”
Katherine winked at her and laughed a little when the blush deepened.
“You will be seeing a lot more of me, Mariana. I hope you are ready for it.”
The Princess scurried off, eager to get away from the oddly charming lady. It was the start of a beautiful friendship and perhaps, a little more.

***
Another post for my Blog Birthday 😀

This is one is by my friend who goes by Evil_and_I_know_it. The word given to her was “gossamer”. She’s a hardcore Fangirl and writes great fan fiction. Especially Harry Potter ones. You can check out her work here.

Happy Weekend!

Fat Girl Problems and Finito

I was the kind of snob who went around telling people that I’d rather spend my money buying books than clothes.

I prided myself for choosing to buy books. Given the choice, I would still prefer buying books over buying clothes. Well, first let me finish the 100 unread books I have. Then, I’m definitely buying more.

I don’t know if I can wait though.

Anyway, books over that cute dress. Novels over those kickass heels. Kindle over the fab clutch. I never claimed to be a girly girl.

I’m nerdy and proud.

The reason for this behaviour?

I’m a fat girl. There. I said it. I weigh more than I should and yes, I have finally come to terms with it. I could lose weight without much difficulty and I will. But not at the cost of missing out on all those gustatory pleasures.

Become skinny and not eat this?

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And this?

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DID YOU ASK ME TO STOP EATING DESSERTS?

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That I cannot do. Never.

Au consequence? Shopping trips= nightmare.

No shop seemed to have stuff my size. Nothing seemed to ever fit me. I mean seriously? Are that many girls skinny? I don’t think so. And what’s wrong with love handles? I don’t get society’s need to define beautiful.

My version of beautiful is Emilia Clarke saying Drakaris. It wouldn’t matter even if she had 10 more kilos on her. She would still be gorgeous because of the blazing fury in her eyes.

I hated being disdainfully stared at by the shopgirls.

I hated trying on something and the damn zip not going all the way up.

I hate feeling awkward because my massive thighs are on display.

Fuck it.

Last Sunday, I had gone shopping. I normally avoid buying anything with a designer label but I decided to splurge. It’s not always that you turn nineteen.

So I asked two of my friends to come along, dragged another one (she didn’t get a choice). And we went shopping at a mall called Oberoi. I wanted a pretty dress for my birthday.

Oberoi is not by far the biggest mall in Mumbai. But it had all the necessary shops. So we chose Oberoi.

Reached there. Entered the Vero Moda store. Nothing. There were hardly any dresses on sale and the ones on sale sucked. Big time. Plus fat girl alert. Most dresses flatter me not. I need emphasis on my boobs and not that tummy. I need A-line. I need a lot of things.

Then the next store. Too expensive. I’m bourgeoisie and not nobility.

Next one was Forever 21. That store was magic. So many clothes. So many booooootiful clothes. It was wonderland. Forever 21 was a huge store with everything from pants to bras to dresses to socks. Socks!

My friends helped me. Grabbed dresses off racks. Geet convinced me to try a skirt. It was this frothy white thing that I could have eaten.

Trial time.

Almost nothing fit me. Whatever did fit me, made me look like a pumpkin. One of Hagrid’s pumpkins.

Next store obviously. I landed at the Lifestyle store. Okay, I did get a pretty maxi dress there that would have looked kickass with a denim jacket which I happen to own. I would have posted the picture had my bra straps not been on show and my mum likely to read this post.

I didn’t buy just yet. Next store. And.

Yes. It was literally called ‘And’. Whose idea was it again? Calling a brand ‘And’.

I did get some cute dresses there. There was this black maxi dress. Long. Black. Hid my hips. Emphasised my boobs but not in an indecent way. I almost bought it.

But then I didn’t. My friends counselled me to look a little more.

The next shop was once again wayyyyyyy too expensive.

Then we entered ‘109°F’. Picked up some dresses. There was a woman in one of the two dressing rooms with about 12 pieces of clothing. Who does that?

I so hate when that happens.

After waiting for about 20 mins, she came out. Just as I was about to enter, my friend Hemali thrust a white thing in my hand. I entered the room and stripped. Last one first so I put on the white dress that Hemali had given me.

Opened the door so that mes amies could look at me and express their priceless opinions.

I kid you not. They oooh’d. I looked gorgeous.

You can ooh when I post a picture on my birthday which in on the 17th of July.  Don’t forget to wish me 😛

I did try on other dresses but nothing even managed to come close to the white wonder.

Meanwhile awkward little me kept on making virginity jokes (white dress?), wedding jokes (hysteria. I’m so not ready for that). I wish I had thought of some wand x dress jokes. “The dress chooses the wearer…”

There was no doubt about it. White Wonder was the one. (Alliteration much?)

I bought it.

It looks pretty, okay? And shopping is fun 🙂

Also, fat girl problems? Finito.

The One Time She Called Him The C-Word…..And He Never Let It Go.

Coco(a)nutz: *cute voice* Hola! No, my name isn’t really Coco(a)nutz. THAT would be NUTS. It’s a nickname given to me by his truly. *pinches OCD* *OCD smirks* I’m Arya Chaturgoonga. *scowls* Yeah,yeah. I can already hear you giggling.

OCD: *snorts loudly* Chaturgoonga! Gets me Every.Single.Time! I’m Oscar Christian Danford. And if you haven’t yet figured out why I call her Coco(a)nutz,then you’re dumber than you look! Hehe….kidding! Okay…it’s just that she is obsessed with coconuts. *Coco plays with the coconut charm on her bracelet* And she has this weird cocoa fetish. *Her eyes glaze over as she sighs dreamily* So there! Coco(a)nutz!

Coco(a)nutz: And I call him OCD, not only because his initials coincidentally happen to be so, but also because he is literally OCD. A total Obsessive Compulsive Disorder freak. Wait and watch. *ruffles his hair adoringly*  *He swats her hands away*  *He smoothens his hair neatly and quickly*

OCD: Oi! You’re ruining my perfectly set and parted hair. And she’s totally kidding btw. Just because I’m a creature of habit and hygiene, doesn’t necessarily mean I’m literally OCD.

Coco(a)nutz: *whispers* Germs! *OCD whips out sanitizer and wet wipes and scrubs his hands frantically* * Coco smirks* Haa! Told you so. *OCD scowls*

***

Fluffy Matrix Snuffles(a.k.a the cutest teddy bear in the world):  *bone-crushing hug*  And without further delay….Dudes and dudettes…presenting Coco(a)nutz and OCD in the prompt series – ‘Cocoa Beans and Crazy’.
The following story is based on Skcully’s (that’s me, Mia) prompt ‘callipygous’. To anybody who doesn’t know what it means….*hands them a dictionary* Yes. Callipygous means having shapely,beautiful buttocks. Read on after you’ve finished giggling.

***

The One Time She Called Him The C-Word…..And He Never Let It Go.

TRRRRINGG! Arya Chaturgoonga came blazing down the street on her beloved bike Catmobile, ringing her bell vigorously. Her brunette locks, held loosely together by a red bandana, tumbled wildly all over her shoulders. With a merry tune whistling on her lips, her nose in the air, she pedaled down the road and stopped in front of his house with a loud screech of her brakes. Oscar Christian Danford scowled.
“Sweet Baby Jesus,Arya! Do you always have to enter like a freaking Banshee?” he bellowed. “I live to piss you off.”She yelled back cheerfully. He stuck his head out of the window and gave her the finger. She grinned.
“Color me surprised. Punctuality is not usually your redeeming quality, yet here you are on time. That’s a first.” “Yeah,well don’t get used to it,OCD.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. And oh….Wipe your shoes on the rug before coming up,will you?” Arya grimaced. “Yeah,whatever. Geez…You are worse than my mother.”She muttered.
“Quite the narcissist,aren’t you?” he said,pointing at her T-shirt. It showed a smirking coconut sipping on hot cocoa with ‘COCO(A)NUTZ RULEZ’ written on it. She smiled prettily. “Using big words,huh? You see,this nerd designed it for me. The said nerd also seems to have come up with another smart-assed T-shirt.” She nodded at him. He puffed out his chest proudly, showing off his ‘SAVE WATER, DRINK BLOOD’ T-shirt.
“Already gotten into the spirit of the debate,I see. Ready,OCD?” “I was born ready,Coco. Let me just get the board. It’s on the top of that cupboard.Aaargh-” He groaned in frustration,not quite able to reach it. “Pass me that stool,Coco.”
He hopped on the stool,his head smacking against the ceiling. “Ow! Shoot…. this thing is heavy! Unhh….here. Take it.” She seemed oblivious to his trouble,her eyes glued…elsewhere. “Uh,Coco? Take this Hulk of a board,will you? And quit staring at my ass.” Her cheeks colored embarrassingly. “Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t.”She grunted. He smirked.“You were too.”
She snatched the board away from him and began scribbling furiously.
‘WIZARDS vs VAMPIRES’
‘Coco(a)nutz vs OCD’

She patted her pockets frantically. “Where is it? Where is it?” “Take a chill pill,Coco. What are you looking for?” “Ugh! I can’t seem to find my phone. Gimme a call quickly.”
JLO’s ‘Booty’ echoed throughout the room.
Awkward silence.
“Umm…Arya? Why have you kept ‘Booty’ as my caller ringtone?”
Big,big booty…What you got a big booty
(Work)
Big,big booty… What you got a big booty
She dove into her backpack,looking absolutely mortified. And shut off the infernal noise. She laughed weakly. “Why don’t we just start the debate?” He nodded,still looking confused.
He cleared his throat. “So,vampires have super-human strength and inhuman beauty and-” “Fat lot of good that super-human strength is if you’re Petrified. I bet Gandalf can set your vampire ass on fire.And boom…you are dead! Unless your stupid cape is fire-resistant. And inhuman beauty? Pssh. One word-Magic.”
“Immortality? Hah! Beat that.” He grinned smugly. She let out a bored yawn. “Philosopher’s Stone. Deathly Hallows. Old Bearded Wisdom. Next.”
He grinned wickedly. “Speed. You wizards may have your broomsticks and shit,but I could walk faster than you fly.” She reluctantly conceded to that. But she retaliated quickly. “Burnt in the sunlight. And sleeping in the coffins. Cough. Cough. Is it dusty in there? Say hello to the cobwebs.” “That’s a myth. We don’t get burnt in the sunlight-” “Yeah,you just sparkle like a disco ball.” He glared at her. “I meant, we wear Daylight Amulets made out of lapis lazuli to protect ourselves from sunlight.” She snorted. “Daylight Amulets that are enchanted by witches to protect your frozen butt.”
“Vampires come with the package deal of big,cold,scary and badass mansions.” “Dude,please. Just take one look at Hogwarts.”
                *Hundred light years and several heated arguments later.*

“What the! You bitch! I mean,witch! You really-”
“Oh yeah? You callipygous bastard! Avada Kedavara!”
“Wait,what? What did you call me?”
“Hmmph. You can call me a bitch but I can’t call you a bastard? Of all the hypocri-”
“No,no. What was that calli-what’s it?”
She had turned an alarming shade of pink. He flopped down to the ground, pulled out a Bounty chocolate bar (the most delicious blend of coconut and chocolate ever made,she exclaimed internally,her mouth watering.) and bit off a huge chunk,scowling. “I hate it when you do that. You promised you would stop using stupid,big-assed words like that.” She made an innocent face. “You mean pretentious words? It’s not my fault you don’t know your way around the dictionary.”
He sighed tiredly. “What the heck does it even mean?” She was suddenly fascinated by the rug,looking anywhere but at him. He huffed indignantly. “Fine. Have it your way.” She swiped his chocolate,and stuffing herself,muttered in a low voice. “Ith wath a comflimenth.” “Come again?” She blushed and whispered, “It was a compliment.”
He smiled half-heartedly. “I guess I’ll take your word for it. Now don’t get crumbs all over the floor.” She stuck her tongue out at him. He handed her dental floss. She stared at him incredulously.
“Seriously?”
“What? Dental hygiene is of utmost importan-” She cut him off with a kiss,her lips smashing fiercely against his. She sighed,her breath brushing his lips. “You taste like coconut chocolate.” He chuckled. “As do you.”
Later that night,he looked up ‘callipygous’ in the dictionary. And then his ears promptly turned beet-red. “Hmmmm….shapely and beautiful buttocks,huh?” He smirked. Time to have some fun.

    Owls….err,messages….exchanged between Coco(a)nutz and OCD.
OCD: Good night,my bootyful dudette. Oops….I meant beautiful. 😉 :*
Coco: I will pretend you did not just say that. Finally used the dictionary,huh? Also,not sleepy. Watchoo doing?
OCD: Ohh…nothing much. Just working my ass off on the Literature project. 😛
Coco: *facepalm*
OCD: You see,everyone else’s projects have turned out to be supermegafoxyawesomehot. I don’t wanna be the butt of their jokes now,do I? XP 😀
Coco: Haha…I get what you’re doing.
OCD: *devilish smirk* Do you? *sings off-key* Big,bad booty…
Coco: You’re never going to let this go,are you?
OCD: *cheerful,shameless grin* Never ever. I believe a certain somebody has to confess something.
Coco: Alright. I have a butt fetish. And that’s a mighty fine ass that you got there.
OCD: I am so flattered,Honey BUNny.
Coco:  Your booty is just asking to be spanked,if you don’t shut up! Go to sleep,you smug jackass.
OCD: LMAO. Good night to you too. Sleep tight and don’t let the vampires bite.
Coco: GuteNuit. :*
OCD: P.S- So if this were a movie….what do you think it would be named as? The Callipygian Curse…Booty Returns!
Coco: Asdhfnvdjghudjkfoskd!@#$!!!??!!
               
***
This guest post  is written by my fluffy adorable friend Sancho Nachos Panza or Suncheetah. She is the definition of demented fangirl. She will love all kinds of appreciation 🙂 Please do shower her with some.

Things that you lose when you lose your cellphone

10. Rare e-reader apps

I read A LOT of ebooks. Carrying my phone to college or work is easier than carrying around a 400-page book.

My old phone had an app- this brilliant, brilliant e-reader called 20000 free ebooks. I had about 135 of those books downloaded.

Now my phone’s gone. The app’s gone. And the books are gone.

9. Playlist

Three things you should know about me-
i. I’m lazy.
ii. I love music.
iii. My favourite band varies according to my mood.

I had playlists based on fifty shades of my moods. When to listen to The Submarines, to Green Day, to Snow Patrol- it was all in there.

Poof! All vanished.

8. Foodporn

So I have developed a weird habit. I end up clicking pictures of every meal that I consume in a restaurant. I like looking at those and torturing myself.

Gone.

7. CONTACTS!!!

Losing contacts especially sucks. I realise now that I’ve lost quite a few contacts that could have been extremely helpful in the future.

6. Contacts again

But this time, I mean those stupid, unnecessary ones that you don’t really need. Numbers of people who you don’t know. What’s the point of keeping those?

Spring cleaning, I tell you.

5. Your reliability…

…because your temporary phone was crap and you can’t WhatsApp. You undergo a social isolation-a forced social isolation.

4. Half-decent selfies

Yes yes. I admit. I do take selfies. I’m definitely not an addict though. And I hardly get any decent ones.

I lost them. The decent selfies. Argh.

3. Memories

Food memories, time spent with friends, my ex-college Ruparel during monsoon (so beautiful), random pictures of my best friend usually when she’s eating- all gone.

Memories fade. We need pictures to remind us of those days. I don’t have them. And it sucks.

Except for Adi. She really did hate that picture of her eating kulfi.

2. Video of a tribal band you loved

Last year, I had gone for the best trip of my life so far. Guwahati, Kaziranga, Shillong and Cherrapunji that is the northeastern states. These states have a tribal culture. At Cherrapunji, I had managed to get a recording of a local band who played at the hotel where we halted. This song was a khasi song and the most melodious sound you’ll listen to.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

1. Sanity

Yes. When you lose so much and a pretty expensive albeit old phone, you tend to go conkers. Just a little bit. Or maybe more.

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