Fat Girl Problems and Finito

I was the kind of snob who went around telling people that I’d rather spend my money buying books than clothes.

I prided myself for choosing to buy books. Given the choice, I would still prefer buying books over buying clothes. Well, first let me finish the 100 unread books I have. Then, I’m definitely buying more.

I don’t know if I can wait though.

Anyway, books over that cute dress. Novels over those kickass heels. Kindle over the fab clutch. I never claimed to be a girly girl.

I’m nerdy and proud.

The reason for this behaviour?

I’m a fat girl. There. I said it. I weigh more than I should and yes, I have finally come to terms with it. I could lose weight without much difficulty and I will. But not at the cost of missing out on all those gustatory pleasures.

Become skinny and not eat this?


And this?






That I cannot do. Never.

Au consequence? Shopping trips= nightmare.

No shop seemed to have stuff my size. Nothing seemed to ever fit me. I mean seriously? Are that many girls skinny? I don’t think so. And what’s wrong with love handles? I don’t get society’s need to define beautiful.

My version of beautiful is Emilia Clarke saying Drakaris. It wouldn’t matter even if she had 10 more kilos on her. She would still be gorgeous because of the blazing fury in her eyes.

I hated being disdainfully stared at by the shopgirls.

I hated trying on something and the damn zip not going all the way up.

I hate feeling awkward because my massive thighs are on display.

Fuck it.

Last Sunday, I had gone shopping. I normally avoid buying anything with a designer label but I decided to splurge. It’s not always that you turn nineteen.

So I asked two of my friends to come along, dragged another one (she didn’t get a choice). And we went shopping at a mall called Oberoi. I wanted a pretty dress for my birthday.

Oberoi is not by far the biggest mall in Mumbai. But it had all the necessary shops. So we chose Oberoi.

Reached there. Entered the Vero Moda store. Nothing. There were hardly any dresses on sale and the ones on sale sucked. Big time. Plus fat girl alert. Most dresses flatter me not. I need emphasis on my boobs and not that tummy. I need A-line. I need a lot of things.

Then the next store. Too expensive. I’m bourgeoisie and not nobility.

Next one was Forever 21. That store was magic. So many clothes. So many booooootiful clothes. It was wonderland. Forever 21 was a huge store with everything from pants to bras to dresses to socks. Socks!

My friends helped me. Grabbed dresses off racks. Geet convinced me to try a skirt. It was this frothy white thing that I could have eaten.

Trial time.

Almost nothing fit me. Whatever did fit me, made me look like a pumpkin. One of Hagrid’s pumpkins.

Next store obviously. I landed at the Lifestyle store. Okay, I did get a pretty maxi dress there that would have looked kickass with a denim jacket which I happen to own. I would have posted the picture had my bra straps not been on show and my mum likely to read this post.

I didn’t buy just yet. Next store. And.

Yes. It was literally called ‘And’. Whose idea was it again? Calling a brand ‘And’.

I did get some cute dresses there. There was this black maxi dress. Long. Black. Hid my hips. Emphasised my boobs but not in an indecent way. I almost bought it.

But then I didn’t. My friends counselled me to look a little more.

The next shop was once again wayyyyyyy too expensive.

Then we entered ‘109°F’. Picked up some dresses. There was a woman in one of the two dressing rooms with about 12 pieces of clothing. Who does that?

I so hate when that happens.

After waiting for about 20 mins, she came out. Just as I was about to enter, my friend Hemali thrust a white thing in my hand. I entered the room and stripped. Last one first so I put on the white dress that Hemali had given me.

Opened the door so that mes amies could look at me and express their priceless opinions.

I kid you not. They oooh’d. I looked gorgeous.

You can ooh when I post a picture on my birthday which in on the 17th of July.  Don’t forget to wish me 😛

I did try on other dresses but nothing even managed to come close to the white wonder.

Meanwhile awkward little me kept on making virginity jokes (white dress?), wedding jokes (hysteria. I’m so not ready for that). I wish I had thought of some wand x dress jokes. “The dress chooses the wearer…”

There was no doubt about it. White Wonder was the one. (Alliteration much?)

I bought it.

It looks pretty, okay? And shopping is fun 🙂

Also, fat girl problems? Finito.

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