Chocolate 3: To go or not

This is the last chapter I’ve edited so far. I really should write more.

Let me know what you think 🙂

To go or not

Sam or whatever was left of him was airlifted out of here. The beautiful peaceful blonde guy in front of me wasn’t Sam. Not anymore. If it would have been Sam, the lips that I had kissed countless times would have been stretched into a grin. His peaceful face would have shown emotion because Sam had been the most expressive guy I had ever known. So it wasn’t Sam.
But it was. That guy, sleeping peacefully, had had the same blonde hair, the same nose, the same everything as my Sam. Because he was Sam. Only that he wasn’t sleeping peacefully or taking a nap. No. Sam O’Donnell was dead. Gone. Passed away. Kaboom.
It had been a week. Seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours. Ten thousand and eight minutes. Six lakh four thousand and eight hundred seconds. And still, I felt the sharp pinch every time, every single time Sam and death came in one sentence.
He had been eighteen. This shouldn’t have happened to an eighteen year old. Especially to a healthy eighteen year old. Not due to natural reasons. No matter what the doctors said, I refuse to believe it.
Who did it then? Me? Rachel? Kathy? Jeremy? Zac?
No. We were friends. At least we had been. Friends don’t do that. Not murder. So who had it been?
I blamed the ghost. I hadn’t met him. But he was the one. The culprit. There was no other explanation.
So this dead person I had been fascinated with, now well to put it lightly, was on the top of my hit list.
To make it even more worse, the O’Donnells including Rachel blamed me. I blamed myself. And rightly so, if I hadn’t wanted to come here, Sam would have been alive. It was all me and my selfishness.
I lay in self-loathing on Alexander Wilson’s bed. My eyes ached with dryness. All of me ached. I hadn’t slept in what seemed like a few years at the most. In reality, it had only been a week.
All I did was sit in the room, on the bed where I had my last memories of Sam. The alive Sam. I couldn’t bear to part with them. My strength whatever little I had of it had disappeared with a poof at the very same time when Rachel had lost it. She had made it clear that I was the one to blame for all of it.
The sun was shining outside. The sun rays penetrated the window and pierced my eyes. I wished for the dark of the night. It was good company and sunshine felt all wrong. How dare the sun shine down upon the earth when the earth was no longer inhabited by Sam?
The world was such a bloody unfair place to live in.
A soft knock at the door jerked me out of my joyous merrymaking. It had been a while since any contact with the world outside.
I gave no indication of my presence in the room. I did not want to. What’s the use? I’m better off alone in here.
I expected the person knocking to just go away, give up. Instead the knocking grew more insistent. The soft knock was now a loud drumming.
I continued ignore.
Finally the person outside stopped knocking. I let out the breath I had been holding. I couldn’t face any of them now.
As I was once again about to lose myself in the gloomy situation, she opened the door. Yes the door hadn’t been locked. It was Kathy in all her glory.
Argh. I so don’t need this. Is it not enough that I am beating myself up into a pulp over this? I can literally see the psychological bruises.
She walked in towards me as I looked back defiantly at her. She rested her ass beside mine and held my hand.
What!!??!!
“How are you doing?” she asked in the gentlest voice.
“Fine. Just peachy.” I said looking down at the bed.
“Really? You don’t fool me, Becky.”
“Really.” I said not raising my eyes.
“Rebecca Andrews, I am your friend! Stop acting like this right at this very moment!”
“But you sound like my mom.”
“Good. Now speak.”
“How will I be Kathy? This sucks. And I am the one to blame.”
“No. you’re not.”
“Of course I am.”
“The autopsy reports say otherwise.”
“Rachel blam….”
“Rachel is Rachel. She’s in grief. She needs someone to blame. Unfortunately it’s you.”
“Kathy, do you seriously believe that none of this my fault?” I said through the tears that had started falling freely. And I had thought that I was all cried out.
“Yes, I do.” She said firmly daring me to contradict her. “Now, stop crying. Is there a sale going on on tears or something? Seriously. Besides, all of us need each other today.”
“Why? What is today?”
“Today. Becky, today is his funeral.”
“Oh.” Was all I could get out. Did someone just punch my tummy?
“We need to stick together. Also, there’s a breakfast meeting about some issues. You should come.”
“Okay.”
“Do you want to clean up? Comb your hair?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay. As you wish. Now let’s go.”
Kathy marched me back to the room where they were camping. Indoor camping. Wow.
Neither one of us felt the need to fill the quiet with the unnecessary chatter. I felt weak and realized that I had probably lost some weight in the past week. Finally. Wallowing in grief and guilt was so much better than going to the gym.
As soon as I entered the room, I felt all their eyes on me as I took my seat at the table.
I tried to avoid meeting their eyes until I realized that it was inevitable. I looked up and I saw four different emotions in the four different pairs of eyes.
Kathy was concerned. Jeremy looked wary. Zack had pity. And Rachel, Rachel had revulsion. Revulsion and real, pure hatred.
I looked away half expecting to see another pair of blue eyes exactly like Rachel’s smirking at me. Hair so very like her only shorter.
It hit me again. The absence of him. How in the world was I going to survive this? How were any of us going to deal with this?
Sam had been our sunshine. The person that stopped us from killing each other. The one that stopped Zach from getting in to drunken bar fights with truck drivers. The one who had set Kathy and Jeremy up. The only one who could deal with Rachel when she was a bitch. The only one she would listen to.
He was the one who could make me laugh non matter how bitterly I was crying. He was the one who would stare intensely at me when he felt I wasn’t looking. He had eaten those cookies. He had…. he had loved me. The only guy ever who had.
We had never been perfect. I had loved him anyway.
I could feel someone speaking. I could just feel the vibrations. I was falling down the tartarus and it was swallowing all the sensations. All except the pain.
I felt something. It felt alien. I looked up blinking back tears. Wow. I was crying. That was new.
Not.
Kathy had her arms around me and she was whispering that everything was going to be okay. Okay? Was okay even possible?
I was breaking apart. I could almost feel bits of my skin blowing away in the wind, disintegrating me.
I was freezing, I realized as I opened my eyes. I hadn’t even realized that I was asleep.
My head didn’t hurt anymore. Nor did my eyes. On the other hand I couldn’t see anything. Like nothing at all. Except darkness. I had non clue where in the world I was. Was I even still in Aphrodelia?
I guess yes. It wouldn’t be this freezing back home. One thing about the weather in Aphrodelia is that it cold here.
I tried to go back to sleep but I was all slept out. Maybe I could start a bit of ghost busting. Why procrastinate?
I crept out of the bed. I realized I was alone. Alone was good for kicking some ghost ass.
I walked towards the door. For a moment,I was afraid that they had locked me in. But no. Fortunately for me.
This time around I had my slippers. So I was cold but not freezing.
I decided to go in the direction opposite to the room where they had found him.
I reached the first closed door. That was when I realized I had no freaking clue about any of this.
Okay. Seven days a week. Seven Harry Potters. Seventh door. I counted six doors. The seventh door, I opened.
It made the most horrible creaking noise that raised my hair. I almost backed out.
Then I switched on my flashlight to at least take a look at the room.
Calling it grand would be the understatement of the year. The room was long and rectangular. Portraits were hung on both the long walls. Every portrait had a man with fat moustaches and a pouffed up lady. There were different men and women in every painting but they were obviously related. All of them were old and had the ‘I am so awesome’ expression and upturned noses. The ladies wore way too much of jewellery. Yes, they had the money but none of them had any decent looks as such. Call me superficial but all these people were lords and ladies. They were supposed to be pretty.
Or maybe I had been reading too many M & Bs.
I started from the left wall. These paintings were clearly older with cracked canvases and faded colors. The first one was of a Lord William Wilson and a Lady Priscilla. I moved forward chronologically. They were all the same only a generation ahead of each other.
There were ten portraits in all. Ten generations of the Wilsons. None of them stunners. At least that was what I felt till I reached painting number nine.
The lord in it Lord Hector was old-ish but striking with a straight posture and a thin moustache unlike his forefathers. Lady Anne was younger than the other ladies had been. Prettier too. She had glossy brown hair and smiling eyes. She was smiling too, the only one who didn’t look grumpy.
I moved towards the next one squinting my eyes. Thank goodness, my flashlight was strong enough.
The other painting was different. The couple in it were young. They were blessed in the looks department too. He had beautiful brown hair and eyes that were laughing as much as he was. The eyes were deep dark pools in the night light. He was hot! She was wearing a ballgown will a low cut neckline that had certainly been the talk of the town back then. She was tiny with luscious black hair that was straight. Green eyes, the cheekbones. They felt so familiar. I had a feeling of dejavu looking at this woman’s face. Where had I seen her before?
I stood there staring at her in wonder. Then it struck me. I had seen her before in my mirror. My reflection, me; she was my doppelganger!
I frantically read the plaque. Oh. My. God. It was him. It was her. Lord Alexander Wilson and his fiancée Miss Victoria Cooper.
Something started burning in my stomach. I had this irresistible ugre to either ripe of the portrait or at least draw a really silly moustache on Alexander’s happy face. Alexander Wilson was a sick twice dead man. I was killing him. Seriously.
Apparently he was the ghost who haunted the mansion. Apparently he was the one who had murdered Sam.
I had never felt that intense hatred for anyone as I did for Alexander Wilson.
And the worse thing was that they looked happy together. And the bitch was going to leave him. He was going to go crazy, die and murder my boyfriend.
I hated both of them. Sam was gone and they were the reason.
Sam was gone. All of a sudden, my legs couldn’t bear the weight of me. My knees were bending and I was sinking.
The portrait room had a fur carpet. I lay down on it. I tried to concentrate on my breathing. Was it going to hurt this bad every time?
I had nothing to cover myself with and I fell in a sleep where I was trekking the south pole.
Next morning, I opened my eyed when I could feel light beyond the lids. The portrait room had a window. I felt better today. Like I could deal with all of this. Sam wouldn’t want me to be sad so I’d decided to be happy.
I could hear voices muffled by the thick door. I could hear people running. I couldn’t feel anything though. My feet were asleep. My finger tips and toes were numb from the cold. So was my ass.
I got up from the floor. And my eyes fell on him and her. I agree she had a haughty turn to her face. But he didn’t look like someone who would kill. He looked genuine. It unnerved me. How could he look so damn normal?
There had to be something. A fat nose? A crazed look in his eyes? Fangs?
Nothing.
I couldn’t figure him out.
I was staring hard at him, trying to find some kind of flaw. Something about him that could kill.
My eyes were beginning to water yet I couldn’t look away.
Way to go Rebecca. Staring at your boyfriend’s murderer.
The door slammed open. I nearly sheded my skin and ran away. It was Rachel, glaring. Only today, I wasn’t going to let her get to me.
“What are you staring at?” She snarled.
“My long lost twin.”
“What? ”
“Look at this.”
“Oh my God. She is a prettier version of you.”
“Thank you. ”
She walked towards the door and yelled downstairs.
“I FOUND HER! UP HERE! SHE’S LOOKING AT PAINTINGS. ”
Soon we were joined by the others. Kathy was standing beside me staring at the painting too.
All of us were amazed.
“You had us worried sick, Rebecca.” Said Kathy.
“I know. I’m sorry. I meant to return before dawn but sometime just before I fell asleep. ”
“It’s okay. Just, next time, please inform. We don’t want you to be next. ”
“Okay. I promise.”
“So are you guys related or something?” She asked pointing at Victoria.
“No relation that I know of.”
“It must be a coincidence. You aren’t stuck up. She is literally plastered with glue.”
“Gee thanks Kathy.”
“So people, when are we leaving?” Asked Rachel loudly.
“In about six months,Rachel.” I declared confidently.
I looked around asking for support. There was none. Something had changed. And I was feeling pissed.
“What?” I asked accusingly.
“We’re leaving earlier than that.” Said Zac sheepishly.
“A lot earlier. ” added Rachel skankily.
“And why so?” I asked warily.
“We’re scared. Sam died. Maybe of natural reasons. Maybe this house is actually haunted. But we’re scared anyway. None of us want to be next. Mr and Mrs O’Donnell are really shaken up and they want Rachel to come back home. So we leave tomorrow.” Said Jeremy steadily.
“Okay. So you guys leave. I’ll manage here.”
“And leave you alone? Are you freaking kidding me? You are coming with us! We hadn’t come along only for Sam, you know? ” which I what I had thought all along .
“What about the ghost? And GRO? I need to stay here for the next six months.”
“No. It’s too much of a risk. Please Rebecca, be reasonable.”
“Can I think about it? ”
“Okay. Now let’s go have breakfast.” Said Kathy cheerfully.
So we did. I had been surviving on candies for the past one week. Having proper food inside me felt just do good.
I made a pros and cons list for going back home as opposed to staying back here. Jeremy did have a point. Sam dying changed everything. My parents must be worried sick. As must be all the other parental units especially the O’Donnells.
It made sense to return no matter how much I wanted to stay. Because I did want to stay desperately. If I returned home, I wasn’t getting this kind of a haunted opportunity ever again.
Not to mention my dad. He was a great dad. Really. But he had really been against me coming to Aphrodelia right from the very beginning .
I had always been the obedient one. This was the very first time I had wanted to do something different. Something that my parents didn’t agree to.
If I went back now, I was afraid I would go back to being that girl again. No ghosts ever. Except on Halloween. But that’s not the same.
Also I loved Wilson mansion. Literally loved it. I would not mind living her for the rest of my life.
But Sam had died here. I didn’t want to risk Rachel’s or Kathy’s or Jeremy’s or Zac’s lives.
Insisting on staying back was going to male me feel guilty because they would stay back to. And I wasn’t sure that I could bear losing any one of them.
So I guess there was nothing o do but go. Responsibility before ghosts.
By the time I came to this conclusion, I was done with my breakfast.
No better time than the present. I took a deep breath.
“So guys, I guess we should start packing.” I said not quite meeting their eyes. This was too hard. Like getting my eyebrows done.
“We already kinda packed.”
“Did you call the GRO people? For the plane pickup? ”
“Yeah. That too. ”
“What if I had refused to come home? ”
“Well, your parents have given us the permission to physically carry you home.”
We looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing. I wasn’t very light.
My remaining time at Wilson mansion was spent packing. And mentally threatening and cursing the ghost of Alexander Wilson. He had gotten away.
Around dusk, I crept back into Alexander’s bedroom. This was where Sam had last been alive. Technically not. But here was where he had told me that he loved me. I just missed him so much.
I cried silently for a few minutes. As soon as I got home, I was going to add crying to my hobbies on Facebook.
Then I went back to the sleeping area. It was now night and dark. The temperature dropped a few degrees.We had an early dinner of chicken soup. Steaming soup felt so good in this weather.
We arranged our sleeping bags with the me in the middle. Rachel and Kathy on my either side and Zac and Jeremy next to them respectively.
I couldn’t sleep for some time having slept quite a lot in the past 48 hours. Finally I drifted off into the dreamland.
Unfortunately it seemed today they were handing out freaky dreams.
I dreamt that Sam was still here. Alive. I could feel him, his heat . I could feel his heart beating. I could see his eyes blazing. I could smell him. He smelt like the sea, sand and summer. He kissed me. And someone knocked on an invisible door.
My eyes snapped open. I looked around for Sam. Until it hit me yet again. It had just been a dream. Sometimes the best dreams are the worst ones. Especially when there’s no chance of them coming true.
So it was just a dream. A tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek.
A noise made me jump. I realized someone was actually knocking on the door. I got up to open it. The brass knocker could get insistent. Bad idea I know. But I wasn’t in my senses at all.
As I stepped out of the sleeping area, I felt Kathy stir up. I felt her shake Jeremy and Rachel. Zac had been wide awake.
I looked at their tense faces asking. Jeremy nodded gravely.
I held up a flashlight at the general direction of the door. My heart was skittering like a pebble and my brain yelled mortal peril. A knock out of nowhere in nowhere was disturbing.
I inhaled and opened the door before I could freak myself anymore.
A guy was standing out. His eyes were squinting due the flash of the flashlight.
I lowered the flashlight to get a better look at him. Who was he? A psychopathic killer? The pizza delivery guy?
He took my breath away. He was tall. I had to look up to meet his eyes. His eyes; they were melting balls of chocolate as they held mine with an intensity that could be called scary. His hair was chocolate brown and longish without being weird. His face was all strong planes softened by full lips.
I remembered all those lines, each one of those hard lines. The painter who had made the portrait had been accurate.
“Hi.” He said making that two lettered word sound like poetry.
I couldn’t look away. Nor could he.
I couldn’t breath. I didn’t know if he could.
I fainted.

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Chocolate 2: Last Kiss

I cried till I felt dehydrated. I felt so lonely. I missed my parents. I had never been this far, this isolated from them. It was scary, the responsibility. Especially when they didn’t have my back. I couldn’t even call them!
Originally, I had thought at least I have my friends. Now I am here alone, wondering, do I really? Sam made it sound that I had forced him to accompany me. Had i? Did the others feel the same way?
No. I didn’t force Sam or anyone else for that matter. I am not an ungrateful bitch. It felt good to have them around. I felt safe. But I don’t want to make them feel obligated to do something that they didn’t want to. I can hold my own against the ghosts.
Sure I can.
Maybe.
Okay! I confess. Along with the loneliness, there’s some fear too. Yes, I am scared. A little bit. Enough to have Goosebumps. But then again that might be ‘coz of the cold wind blowing in through the broken window. I just had a jacket. I had left without the blanket in a huff. Stupid silly me.
Oh my God! The wind was whooshing through the trees. I expected the wolves to start howling any moment. I shivered. It was scary and cold.
All the horrible thing happen in cold weather in the horror movies, don’t they?
I covered my eyes with the hood of the jacket. The tree just outside the window made a scrapping sound against the wall. My heart was beating twice as fast. No ways I was going to be able to sleep. No freaking ways.
I thought about hiding under the bed. But the girl under the bed always gets found, doesn’t she?
Something scurried in the room upstairs. Oh my god! Oh my god! Jeesh. Haunted houses were scary.
Suddenly there was a knock at the bedroom door. And my heart stopped beating. Shit. Knocks at the door are never good.
What the hell! I am Rebecca Andrews. I do spooky. I love spooky. The freaking ghost should be scared of me. He should be terrified. I need something to kick his ass with. Oh no. I had nothing. Just the pillow which I hadn’t forgotten to get along.
Oh wow Becky! Are you going to have a pillow fight with ghost? You will be braiding each other’s hair next. Awesome!
Not.
A pillow will have to do. I guess. Or a knee in his groin. Do ghosts have….? Will that work? I hope it will.
So I grabbed my hand grenade and my gun and walked towards the door. I opened it while hiding behind it. I felt someone enter. I raised my pillow to hit that someone.
Just as the pillow was about to smack that someone in the head, a very familiar voice exclaimed, “Becky, I guess this mansion is really haunted!”
The pillow in my hands had caught momentum and I couldn’t stop. Thwack!
“Ouch!” he yelled. “I knew you were pissed but I never thought you’d become violent!”
“Oops. Sorry Sam. I thought you were the ghost.”
“And you were planning you fight the ghost with a pillow?”
“Yeah.” I said with a sheepish smile. “There’s nothing else in the room.”
Sam looked at me for a second and then he burst out laughing.
“Oh Becky. Only you are capable of doing something like this.” He said pulling me close and dropping a kiss on my hair. “No wonder I’m in love with you.”
Oh.
Wait. What?
Did Sam O’Donnell just say that he’s in love with me?
Please tell me he did!
He did, didn’t he?
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! Sam loves me!!!!!!!!!
It’s too good to be true. It’s true, is it not?
“Sam, do you mean it? Do you really love me?”
Sam became all serious. I have never seen him this way. He was looking intently into my eyes and my heart fluttered. It actually skipped a beat as his blue eyes met my green ones.
“I fell for you the moment I ate those cookies that you had made on Rachel’s 13th birthday which was obviously my birthday too. And she was the one who had friends over. Then you came over to me and gave me a cookie and wished me a happy birthday.”
“But those cookies; they were horrible to the point of being inedible.”
“It didn’t matter.”
“Rachel spitted it out. You didn’t. That was when I started crushing horribly on you.” I confessed blushing. “I love you, too Sam.”
“Wow. That feels amazing. You love me too.”
“Yes, I do. Now can you get to the part where you kiss me?”
“Sure.” He said with his angelic smile. And he did.
Kissing Sam had always been pure bliss. Now, it had just gotten better. The chemistry had always been there and now the feelings were totally involved too.
Sam loved me. I wanted to do a funny dance. After kissing him for a century that is. Well, we did more than kiss. A lot more.
I lay cuddled in his arms after. I felt so safe and warm and nice. My eyes looked up to see a pair of ocean blue gorgeous eyes looking down at them. Those blue eyes possessed the familiar twinkle.
“Hey.” He said smiling beatifically.
“Hey.” I said mirroring his smile. “We should do that more often.”
“That we should.” He said with a chuckle that I felt against my heart.
We just stared at each other smiling.
“God! This is so cheesy!”
“Feels good though.”
“Yeah. I like cheese.”
“I thought you liked chocolates.”
“I like cheese but I love chocolates.”
“Good. So the next time we fight, I’ll just get you some.”
“Don’t give me an incentive to fight with you.”
“You’ll fight with me for chocolates?” he asked incredulously.
“Any day.”
“Girl, you are seriously one of a kind.”
“And that’s the reason why you love me!”
“True.”
We dissolved into a comfortable silence.
“Sam, I love you.”
“I love you. Now sleep. It’s late.”
“Good night, Sam.” I said turning on my other side.
“Good night, Becky. And I am sorry.”
“For what?”
“For earlier.”
“Sam, you made up for it ten times over.”
“God, I really love you Rebecca Andrews.”I heard him mumble in my hair as I drifted off.
A couple of hours later I am woken up by someone who is probably trying to kill me. The way whoever it is, is shaking me is definitely violent. I hear someone shriek in my ear.
Must be Sam.
“Sam…”I mumble sleepily.
“Rebecca!” comes the voice again more urgently than before. I turn around trying to block it with a pillow. Wait a sec. I am now at the other end of the bed. Where is Sam?
I get up startled. The voice which I now recognize as being Rachel’s is becoming hysterical.
“What?” I ask groggily. Wake up calls in the middle of the night are not appreciated.
“It’s…..it’s….” she is unable to get words out.
“Rachel, I need you to calm down and tell me what’s up.”
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Then with a voice that is barely audible and shaking to the point of being almost incomprehensible she answers.
“Rebecca, it’s Sam.”
“Sam? What’s up with Sam?”
“I met him down the passage. He was feeling breathless so he decided to take a walk. I accompanied him. And all of a sudden he collapsed.”
“What? Is he …is he okay?”
“I don’t know. Jeremy came and he was in control and I just couldn’t be there.”
“We should go. It must have been the change of place or something. He’ll be alright.”
“Rebecca, I am terrified. I cannot go there.”
“Rachel, it’s alright. He’ll probably have regained consciousness by now.”
“No. I cannot. I have a very bad feeling. I just cannot.”
“Rachel, honey.” I said putting my arm around her. She gets freaked out by the tiniest things. “Sam’s as healthy as a horse. He’s going to be just alright.”
“Okay. But you go in first.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
We were for some reason tip toeing down the passage. It was the longest walk ever though it just took over two minutes. My feet became numb ‘coz of the cold. The floor was freezing and I had forgotten my slippers back in the room. It was dark. Pitch black. I could hear Rachel sniffling beside me as we stumbled our way towards the room where Sam was.
Honestly? I expected this to be some kind of joke. Sam was a healthy 18 year old guy. He was young and strong and full of good health and spirits. I expected him to be standing behind the door, waiting for me so that he could envelope me in one of his awesome bear hugs.
18 year old guys just don’t collapse. They don’t. So I expected him to be there; to be standing; to be alive.
What I did not expect was Jeremy creeping out of the door; shutting it behind him looking like someone had just died.
“He’s just fine, isn’t he? This is some kind of weird joke. Right? I mean wow. Rachel, you’re such a good actress. You should seriously consider Broadway. Or even Hollywood.” Turning towards Jeremy I continued. “Now let me go in. I have some ass to kick.”
Inwardly. I saw Jeremy’s expression, I knew what it meant. But that was just not a possibility. What about the ring that Sam was supposed to give me? What about the white dress I was supposed to wear? What about our kids?
Jeremy firmly put his hands on my shoulders. No! No! NO!
“Rebecca, he’s gone.”
“No! He’s not!” I said as a smile formed on my lips and tears welled up in my eyes.
Jeremy just looked at me.
“He’s in there, isn’t he Jeremy? He’s probably laughing his ass off right now! Right?”
Jeremy’s somber expression didn’t change. By now, tears were streaming down my face. Yet, I was smiling. This was just some ploy to fool me. It just cannot be true.
“He’s not gone, is he? Jeremy, out with the truth now! Enough of suspense!”
He still wasn’t saying anything! Why wasn’t he saying anything?
“Jeremy! Say something. Tell me that he’s in there. And that he’s fine. And that he’s alive. Just tell me, goddamnit!”
“Rebecca, He’s not in there. He’s gone.” His voice was choking up. Wow. Jeremy was a good actor too. He closed his eyes and whispered. “Sam’s dead, Becky. He’s dead.”
“He’s not dead. He cannot be dead. Is it Sam you are talking about? Because my Sam cannot die. He cannot just drop down dead.”
“Rebecca, he shouldn’t have. But he has. We cannot do anything about it.”
“You are lying. Let me in. I need to see.”
“No. Don’t go in Rebecca. Don’t.”
“Jeremy, I need to see. I need to see for myself. Please.” I looked into his eyes. He was crying too now. I could hear Rachel wailing behind me but I ignored. I held his eyes for a long time until he finally relented. He moved aside and let me go in.
Sam was lying down peacefully as if he was sleeping. I went and I sat down beside him. I put my hand on his cheek. It was cold. I brushed his lips with mine.
I truly realized the phrase ‘as cold as death’. And I didn’t want to.
I hoped that he would kiss me back and make some comment. I hoped he would open his eyes and look at me. I hoped he would talk to me. I hoped that by some miracle life would rush back into him.
It didn’t.
He really was dead. His life had ended and with that ever so many things. His dreams, our dreams. It was all gone now. All the firsts had become lasts.
It had been the last time he had kissed me.

Chocolate 1: Dreams and Fantasies

When I was 13, I tried writing a book.
When I turned 16, I completed it.
When I turned 16.5, I thought it was shit.
When I turned 17, I realized it just needed editing.

I always dreamed of becoming a published writer. And ‘Chocolate’ was to be the book that would get me published. So only a chosen few got to read it. Most of them loved it but they weren’t impartial.

Anyway, now I realize that I don’t want to become one of those writers who write only for monetary gains. I don’t want to become rich by making my reader poor. I mean, if I do get published (and that’s big IF), I will probably have many giveaways and free downloads.

I’ve decided to put the first three chapters of Chocolate up on my blog. Why only the first three chapters you ask? Because I’ve rewritten only three so far. Heavy editing, remember? And because I’m the Queen of Procrastination.

I’m sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors. I had a fight with my editor (best friend). I hope she’ll start editing once again 😀 She’s an amazing editor!

Feel free to praise and feel free to criticize 😀
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Dreams and Fantasies
I didn’t feel as good as I thought I would. I always wanted to stop being such a daddy’s princess but the thought of staying far away from my parents scared me. Unlike other families here, we had always stayed together. I felt empty from inside.
I mean I always wanted to do something related to supernatural stuff. I believed in ghosts, vampires and even Harry Potter. I was really into this stuff. My problem was that my parents weren’t. So, obviously they were against me going to Aphrodelia and living in a haunted mansion for about six months to research.
An entire town had been wiped off due to the death of their principle land lord or something. There had been successors but they didn’t really last long. They died under some really mysterious conditions.
Now, Aphrodelia was a ghost town with a haunted mansion where I was going to live for the next six months.
I was at the airport near the entrance when he entered. He caught my eye as he entered the airport. He winked and grinned. Wow. I sure as hell had gotten lucky. Sam O’Donnell was my totally hot, blond-haired, blue-eyed boyfriend.
Following him was his twin. Rachel O’Donnell. In a pair of twins, when you have a girl and a guy, they can’t be identical. Sam and Rachel contradicted this theory. Rachel was my bestie.
They were two of my favorite people in the world. I couldn’t help but smile. It seemed that everything was going to be alright.
Oh-oh. Following them were Kathy and Jeremy better known as Kathmy. They were the most sickening, sweet couple of my acquaintance. What were they doing here? Sure, we hung out together. But still. They were just too sweet.
Then entered our catalyst. Zac Robinson. I relaxed a bit. Zac was a laugh. And a flirt. And my friend. He was as good as gay for me. Unfortunately for him.
My parents were pissed off that I was going through with this “vacation”. They had tried various methods to prevent me from going but nothing worked. I had taken the plunge and I had taken it whole-heartedly. I was going to swim now. I couldn’t just back-out.
I couldn’t look into my parents’ eyes. I wasn’t a rebel by nature but this was something I just had to do. I was disobeying direct orders here. Not that they could do anything. I was eighteen now.
“Bye Rebecca. You can still say no to this stuff.” Said my mom. “There are better things to do.” she added more sternly.
“Other things are simply not an option at this point of time, mom. I have always wanted to do this and I am going to do it!”
“What? Live in a haunted mansion?”
Huh. This had been going on for months now. It was now becoming tiring.
“Exactly.”
“Stop being such a teenager, Rebecca.” Said my dad.
I smirked.
“I am a teenager, dad.”
“Okay, you are. But that doesn’t mean you can just go off to nowhere to spend 6 months researching ghosts. If it’s a break that you want, go bag packing across Europe like a normal teenager.”
“God dad! This is something I have always wanted to do. Besides, I’m not exactly normal, am I?”
“Of course you are”
“No, dad, I generally stretch a bit towards the weird side.”
“Is there anything I can do that will make you stay?”
“Not really.” I said cheerfully.
“Okay.” He said giving up finally. “Let’s make a deal. You can go now but when you return, which you will, ghosts don’t exist Rebecca. You will choose a proper career and take education accordingly.”
“Okay, dad. Now, let me go.” I said. I had to cut him some slack. I wasn’t going to be able to talk to him for around 6 months. And he was just looking out for me. That’s what parents do.
“Fine. Go.”
“Okay. Bye. Take care, huh?”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Rebecca. You take care too.” Said mom.
I boarded the plane without as much as a second glance at my parents. But as soon as the plane took off, I busted into tears. I missed my parents already.
“Are you alright, Becky?” said Sam.
“Yah.” I said wiping my tears.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“Really?”
“Yah. You have me what could possibly go wrong?”
“Well, the fact that you are with me to begin with.” I said with a devilish look.
“Ouch. That hurts.”
“Deal with it.”
“Kiss it for me?”
“Admit it Sam. You’re just horny.”
“No!”
“Then what? You’re in love with me?”
“No! Okay. I am just horny.”
Well, he didn’t love me. I was kind of hoping he did. We had been going out for a year now. And I kind of just might love him. Anyways.
“Can I get a kiss anyways?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’ll ask someone else.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t you mind me kissing some other chick?”
“No. I don’t.”
“Seriously?”
“Actually Sam, the thing is that there is no other chick around who will actually want to kiss you.”
“Oh no. you are mistaken. I am very much in demand you see.”
“Okay. Let me ask the other girls.”
“No ways.” Came a reply even before I officially asked the question. Rachel.
“Me neither. I have Jeremy.” Said Kathy.
Hahaha.
“Want to ask the guys, Sam?”
“No need. I have got you.”
“And what makes you think that I want to kiss you?”
“You can’t resist me babe.”
“We’ll see.”
“We’ll see.”
“10 bucks that Rebecca will not be able to resist Sam.” Said Zac.
“20 bucks that she will for at least an hour.” Said Rachel.
“You don’t want to lose like the last time, Ray.”
“No I don’t. And I won’t. Dontcha worry Zac.”
“Oh but you will.”
“You got a stick up your ass Zac.”
“Thanks. That’s the reason for my sexy swagger.”
“You look drunk, not sexy.”
“You dig it babe.”
Wow. Men. Seriously.
Eventually all of us got too tired and bored to even talk. They dozed for a while. I was reading this memoire of some chick who used to work at Wilson Mansion as a maid or something. Poor thing. She was totally crushing on the mansion’s owner- Alexander Wilson. He sounded like a catch. And was one of the good guys to add to the looks. Pity he had been engaged to this chick called Victoria Cooper. She was an Absolute bitch and ate maids like this one for breakfast. Victoria had left Alexander at the altar. He died soon after of a broken heart according to this maid girl. Load of crap.
I was soon bored. The girl was full of Romeo and Juliet-ish ideas about romance and Alexander. I put the memoire down. She had started to get a bit stalkerish and creepy. As I had nothing better to do, I looked out of the window.
I love first glimpses. So I was hoping to catch the first glimpse of Wilson Mansion. It was going to be our base in Aphrodelia.
I had to wait for a while. We weren’t anywhere there yet. But it was worth the wait. Wilson Mansion was huge. It was ancient. And surprisingly in good condition. The old guys knew their stuff, I suppose. Even though its days of glory had come to an end, the Mansion stood tall. There was a miniature forest growing around. The trees and leaves were covering the mansion as if protecting it from the time that had passed; preserving it for the time yet to come. As for the mansion, it seemed to be waiting for the return of its days of glory. Waiting for the days when it used to be full of people going about their daily routines.
And, I’d bet all the money in this world that it was haunted. It looked just like it and also had the perfect tragic story behind it.
After land lord guy- Alexander Wilson and been ditched at the altar by his fiancée Victoria cooper and had died mysteriously soon after. With him, the mansion had started to die too. And finally Aphrodelia succumbed too.
It was all that I had imagined and more. I fell in love with it instantly. This was where I wanted to stay for the rest of my life! With a ghost or two. and maybe some vampire paraphernalia? That. Would. Be. Awesome.
The only catch? I couldn’t imagine Sam living in a place like this. And he was my boyfriend and I was biologically defined to plan our wedding at this stage.
Soon, it went out of sight. We were supposed to land some distance away on this flat field. Most of the area around the mansion was covered with trees. It wasn’t possible to land anywhere around there. After that we would be on our own.
All the sleepyheads around me soon woke up rubbing their eyes and stretching their bodies. We would land in a minute or two. That minute was the slowest minute of my life. I wanted my time in Wilson mansion to begin ASAP! And the minute simply felt too long!
Finally, in what seemed like a millennium, we landed. And I finally set my feet on the Aphrodelian soil. Man, it felt so good. I thought I was going to get knocked off due to an adrenaline overdose.
And I fell in love with Aphrodelia at first sight. I loved every aspect of it. It had a haunted (probably!) mansion.
It was like my personal heaven on the earth.
I wasn’t the only one who was happy. Rachel was too. She had recently joined some Go Green charity thingy. So all the greenery around made here happy. Not that it was going to last. She would get over it soon. That was Rachel for you. She had her fads but they never lasted long. Moreover once she realized that there was no electricity connection in the mansion, no possibility of being able to use her blow dryer; she was going to freak out.
Kathy and Jeremy. Kathmy. How could they not be happy? They had everything they wanted! That is they had each other. They needed no one else, no other thing. Alas for the power of true young love. It never happens to you.
Sam was an awesome boyfriend but sometimes I wondered if he wasn’t the one. I wasn’t sure if I would be willing to spend the rest of my life with him if he asked. Sure, he was hot. Sure I liked him a lot. But I couldn’t see him living in a haunted house with me.
I usually stashed these thoughts away in the back of my mind. Today was nothing unusual.
We had now started our hike to the mansion. I was walking beside Sam. Usually it was like the best thing ever. Sam was good at verbose. Today for some reason though, he was in a real bad mood. Maybe it had something to do with Zac losing his bet.
“Hey Sam! Didcha see it?” I said in a chirpy and flirty tone.
“Rebecca, I seriously am not in the mood.”
“And why is that so?’
“Is there supposed to be a reason for everything?”
“Yeah. Usually there is.”
“Just let me be, Rebecca. All I wanted was to spend the summer at the beach before leaving for college.”
“I never asked you to come.”
“Like I could let you come alone.”
“You should have. That would have been better than you snapping at me.”
“Rebecca, don’t be like that. For god’s sake, I did come. I am here, and you are the only reason why.”
“My parents have already been giving me hard time ever since I decided to come. Please Sam, don’t you dare start now.”
“I’m just feeling a bit uneasy. Give me some time. I’ll be alright, okay honey?” he said; dropping a light kiss on my forehead.
“Yeah. Meanwhile, let me just bug Rachel.” I said with a small smile.
“Yeah, you do that.”
Sam really did need to be alone. He looked a bit freaky. Not sick or anything, just a bit under weather. He was going to be all right. We had the basic medicines like for fever, or pain and so on. Nothing to worry about.
I moved on to chitchat with Rachel. By now, we had gathered our luggage and were waiting for the motivation to help us carry it. Rachel and I, we hadn’t been getting along too well recently. It might have something relating to the fact that her brother was always there whenever I was around. I got her side of it but Sam was just irresistible. I was hoping though, that we would be able to get some female bonding time now.
“Did you see it, Ray?”
“Yeah. Impossible to miss, right?” she said. Yay! She had replied and without sarcasm! “You seem overjoyed…but then that’s expected.”
“Yes! I know! Isn’t it gorgeous? My research is going to be a success!”
“No offence, Rebecca.” She said obviously saying something that was going to be offensive. “But do really think ‘research’ is an appropriate term for it?”
“Of course it is! We are researching whether ghosts really exist or not.” Does Alexander Wilson?
“That isn’t a topic for research. Rebecca, the earth is already way too overpopulated; we don’t really need to add some spooky spirits to the mixture. Where will they live?”
“In deserted places like these? Rachel, to you it might be an all expenses paid vacation, but to me, it’s my career. Got that?”
“You should choose some other career…something more concrete perhaps?”
“Just get off my back, will you? I am sick of receiving all this shit first from my parents, then from Sam and finally from you. Just let me be!”
I stormed off to the front of the group. We had to hike to the mansion. I was the right at front anger fueling my speed, behind me was Rachel. Following her were the lovebirds and Sam was right at the back, sulking.
Zac? Where the hell was he? Bloody idiot, if he had gotten lost, he better not be found. He was in big trouble.
“”Lo!” said someone cheerfully into my ear. Huh. At least someone was in good spirits. “How are you, my pussycat?”
“I am not a pussycat, Zac. And I sincerely hope you aren’t drunk.”
“Nope. Not yet. What’s up with the sour mood? Someone kicked your ass?”
“ Not really. Had a bit of a fight with Sam. An argument really. And Rachel is giving me a hard time about some stuff.”
“Is she now?” he said pretend deep in thought. “Okay, I won’t sleep with her tonight.”
“Oh my God. Oh my god. Are you dating Rachel? Coz you’ll be the worst couple ever!”
“No…not anymore, now that you’re single.”
“I am not single! My boyfriend is probably staring daggers at your back.”
“Oh…Rebecca, what kind of fun do you get in breaking my heart time and again?”
“You, my friend, are full of shit. And drunk.”
“Am not.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! I’ll be much more fun when I am.”
“Shut up Zac!” I couldn’t help but laugh. Zac was pretty crazy when drunk. Though, hangovers weren’t such good ideas right now.
We continued to joke around till we reached our destination. As soon as the mansion returned into my line of vision, I was distracted. Big time! And boy, don’t even get me started on the emotions that raced through me when we actually entered. As soon as my feet touched the marble tiles of the grand floor, I actually squealed. Zac says that it was more like a moan. But officially, I squealed! I was in haunted territory now! woohoo!
The first thing I wanted to do was to explore it from the roof to the cellar. Unfortunately for me, accommodations had to be searched first. Sam wanted to crash for a while. We let him nap in a sleeping bag for a while. Poor guy was missing all the excitement. But he really looked tired. So I let him sleep.
We divided ourselves into pairs and set off. Obviously, Kathmy were together. Didn’t those guys ever get sick of each other? Seriously! Zac and Rachel set off. Probably to shag some more. So, I was on my own which suited me perfectly.
I was strictly verboten from opening any doors. The idiocracy of it. But I did anyway. Just one door. It was huge and intricately carved from some costly teak or mahogany or something. There was this heavy brass knocker in the shape of entwined lions.
One thing I could tell-some important person had slept in the room. And I was proved right when I opened the door. There was this colossal bed with an intricate headrest. It was of some old age town. On a closer look, I realized that it was Aphrodelia with the Wilson mansion and all. Aphrodelia during its happier days. It was just wow.
That moment, that very moment, I decided that this was the bed I was going to sleep on tonight.
I stayed there going through the armoires and other drawers. I found nothing. Except for some cobwebs. Sad but I enjoyed prying into someone’s private property. Even if that someone had been dead for a long long time.
Finally it was starting to get dark. I started towards sleeping Sam.
Halfway through, I found the gang with dinner ready. Sam was now wide awake and looked just fine.
We had a fun dinner chatting and joking. Everyone seemed in good spirits. I felt relieved. Maybe everything was going to be alright.
After dinner, we set up our sleeping bags. Well, they did. Not me. And when I announced my decision to sleep in that beautiful beautiful bedroom, they thought I was suicidal.
“No, I just love the room too much.”
“I told you not to open any doors, didn’t i?” said Rachel.
“You did. But I couldn’t resist. Now can I go? I want to sleep.”
“No. you are going nowhere.”
“Let her go, Ray. Like she’s going to listen to you. She’ll probably sneak out after we are asleep.” said Sam wearily.
“You know me so well.” I said kissing him. He didn’t kiss me back.
“You are being selfish. But then again that’s what you do, don’t you?”
That really hurt. Were we hurling towards a breakup?
“Then you are better off without me, I guess.” I dragged my selfish ass back to the bedroom and closed the door behind me.
And bursted into tears.

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